Saturday, December 31, 2011

january 1 2012

happy happy new year!!!! wishing all love and joy and peace in the new year. starting off the new year with 2 new journals one for written work one for art work.  pulled together my children's book and hope to send it to a publisher within the next week or so. also screwed up my courage and am posting some journal pages to somerset studio journal. here's a look at some pages from 2011, love brigid

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

december story cont'd

 as she heaved the cardboard box carrying all that remained of her work-a-day job into the dumpster, she felt like a kid who was let out of school for the summer-absolutely free. and  even better than that she was tossing away all the stuff that had threatened to hold her down, like an automaton and make her become like them: with  their nervous slightly worried  dispositions, constantly looking over their shoulders, just waiting to make that  final mistake that would be written up in their job performance folder, a black check next to their names in the book where such things are recorded until the day when all the black checks added up to a pink slip slipped under their door,telling them their services were no longer needed.. this time she wasn't worried-they could plaster her entire cubicle with pink slips and fill her folder to the brim with black checks-she wouldn't be there to read them. she'd wasted five years of her all too finite life, behind the desk of the xyg gallery doing what   she was  supposed to do, and she was no further ahead than when she was hired, no promotions,not even a job well done, and she had had enough- she had reached her limit, she was going to pick up the pieces of her long neglected creative life before it was too late.
 the first thing she had to do was move. she could no longer afford(in fact she never could afford) the apartment she shared with four other girls in manhattan. not that they would miss her- for every person leaving, there was always someone coming, so her space would not stay vacant for long. she was moving back to staten island, the forgotten borough, where rents were a 1/4 or  less than those in manhattan- she could probably get a house, for what she would pay for a studio apartment. she could live with her sister for awhile, until she got a part-time job and could afford to look for an apartment.
 installment 2. this will have to go into january's story because  i doubt if i'll post again before christmas, but you never know.have a wonderful holiday everyone and i'll be back with some more of the story and some pictures of my new paintings. i'm going to try over the christmas break to put together something to be published in one of the somerset magazines or other publications. i'm also going to look into starting a web site to showcase my paintings, also plan to work on my children's book. a little too ambitious for one week i know- so if i get to doing some work on each thing and do a little painting ,i'll consider myself lucky. merry christmas!!!brigid

Sunday, December 11, 2011

december story

one minute she was safely ensconced in her office on 23rd street, the next thing she knew, she was out on the street with her work things crammed into a cardboard box trying to hail a cab on tenth avenue. it hadn't been much of a job, she thought ruefully , but it was a JOB , and now she was back on the street again, with the dreary prospect of posting her resume online, talking to head hunters, going to interviews, and trying to sell herself to some bored middle management drone, who would be looking at her breasts(not big enough) instead of at her face, where his/her eyes should have been. the trouble with jobs she thought was that they were jobs and not doing work that made her pulse quicken and her heart throb with joy,the way it would if she was doing what she'd been put on earth to do, to be an artist.that's when it hit her- she was 35 years old, unmarried, childless and she was going to do what she'd been wanting to do for 30 of those 35 years, she was going to become a starving artist. she put her hand down as a cab pulled up and shooed it away. starving artists didn't take cabs they took the subway, and on her way to the station she threw her cad board box which contained all her office paraphernalia, into a dumpster,and set off to begin her new life. this is the first installment of my fantasy new life- in reality i am 57 years old, married with 3 children , stuck in a job that i need to keep because my husband has been kicked out of his job. i went to a retirement consultation, and they told me i could have retired 2 years ago, so i'm hoping and even praying to a god i don't believe in, that ian will get a job and i can retire in september, and spend the rest of my life making art and writing. and what of my fictional counterpart? her name is ingrid murphy, and you'll be hearing more of her fictional adventures in the blogs to come.

Friday, December 2, 2011

it's about time

hello again. no excuses, sheer fatigue and depression.. but i'm back and i'm holding  on and plan to carry on with a new positive attitude. i've gone back to painting mostly, combining figures and abstract art, and a whole bunch of new encaustic paintings, which i'm not sure i like, but i'm giving it a shot. . i don't really know what i'm doing, i should really take a workshop, but i can't afford it. so i'm muddling through on my own.. ian has a possible new job which would take some  of the pressure off me-i've been feeling like the major breadwinner for some time now. i've also been confused about what direction my art is going in,but right now i figure i'll just show up in the studio and go with the flow. where ever it takes me. i should close with some positve affirmations folllow your bliss, let your spiritual energy soar, believe in yourself, you are enough, life is a gift  go for the gold, hold on ,live for today- you already have all that you'll ever need, hope for the best, you get the idea but  i really mean it.  but i'm really tired and i have to sleep so i can get a headstart on my brand new positvd me. good night. brigid