A little miracle

The little miracle is that I'm posting twice within a week.

the journey is beginning
hold my guts together
to keep them from spilling out,
hug myself because
I can't believe
this is really happening.
I've taken the first step
and it feels so good
to let go
of what I've been holding onto
for so long,
to let go
of the self control
I once thought
was the only way,
the lonely way to live.
early days;
I'm only asking for guidance,
and trying to listen,u
trying to try and change
a lifetime of learned and
carefully thought out ,
behavior.
maybe it won't come to anything,
but something is happening
that I can't explain,
that I don't even understand.
and it feels so good
to let go of the reins
that were digging into my skin
for so long.
to maybe get a chance
to stop driving,
and let someone else
take the wheel.