aha!

, time for a quick blog before i head out for my printmaking class, where i'm working on a print of the painting i did of pat passlof,last year. it's coming along pretty well-i'll post it soon as i finish it. working on portraits of family members now- ihave three in the works, hard work but really rewarding when i just get someone's likeness. last time i posted a portrait of me and ian but i've changed it since then and i think it looks more like me now -you be the judge.i'm learning so much about portrait paintings and have begun to copy some of the masters styles-great fun, and a lot of inspiration. feeling better now but today i had a full blown panic attack about how we're going to make ends meet until i can retire. poor ian has had no luck getting another job since he was laid off a year ago- no prospects at the moment- and it's very worrying.it seems as if once you're over 40 in today's marketplace, you're thought of as an old codger, ready for the dole.it's so unfair-especially for someone like ian with a giant brain and a ton of experience- the man can do almost anything.but enough about that onward and upward! see if you can tell the difference between the two paintings.trala brigid

february and its almost gone

hi there- it's feb .23rd i think, and i've been on vacation all week and i wa going to blog everyday, get caught up, post lots of things. it didn't happen. i haven't even turned on my computerall week except to download some pictures. so this is me, i can't keep up with my own life, predict when i'll post or any of that. and that's okay because there are no rules that say how often i have to post or how good it has to be, and i'm not really trying to get a huge following or a thousand viewers,-i'm just doing this because i like to say hello to anyone who's listening, who's interested in what i have to say, or wants to see what's going on with me. i've pretty much given up on the idea that i can sell my work online,or have an etsy shop or a web page because life is happening every second of every day and i am living and i'm dead tired and i don't have the time or the energy for that. most of the time i'm working everyday and coming home and trying to make some art and that's about all i have time for. except this week i've gotten up and painted and made art all day everyday and gone for an hour's walk on the beach with my baby, and read books and enjoyed every bloody minute of it. i wish it could be like this forever!!! i can't wait to retire, i want it so much i can taste it, but it looks as if i'll have to work at least for one more year, maybe two, but if i just live one day at a time it will happen eventually, and i'll be ever so grateful.. and until then i'll make as much artas i can on the side, and enjoy that too. so tada for now and i'll be back when i can. thanks for listening!love brigid

i should be sleeping

i should be sleeping but it's been so long since i posted, i had to do it right now while i'm still awake and fired up from the energy of my printmaking class. started a new print-it's based on the portrait i did of pat passlof,last year. it's good to be backin the studio again. been painting and drawing like mad; taking misty mawn's online course and it's alot of work. haven't had time to post any of my stuff yet, maybe tomorrow. i'm trying to think of something really profound to say but i'm shooting blanks-how aboutthis "When you really look for me, you will see me instantly- you will find me in the tiniest house of time".Kabir.or this:"For men and women alike...this journey(is) a human life lived.Noone escapes the adventure. We only work with it differently." Jon Kabat-Zinn. so much to say and not enough time to say it. or maybe there is really nothing of any importance to say. goodnight, until tomorrow, when i will have alot more nonsense to say.love,brigid

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january 1 2012

happy happy new year!!!! wishing all love and joy and peace in the new year. starting off the new year with 2 new journals one for written work one for art work.  pulled together my children's book and hope to send it to a publisher within the next week or so. also screwed up my courage and am posting some journal pages to somerset studio journal. here's a look at some pages from 2011, love brigid

december story cont'd

 as she heaved the cardboard box carrying all that remained of her work-a-day job into the dumpster, she felt like a kid who was let out of school for the summer-absolutely free. and  even better than that she was tossing away all the stuff that had threatened to hold her down, like an automaton and make her become like them: with  their nervous slightly worried  dispositions, constantly looking over their shoulders, just waiting to make that  final mistake that would be written up in their job performance folder, a black check next to their names in the book where such things are recorded until the day when all the black checks added up to a pink slip slipped under their door,telling them their services were no longer needed.. this time she wasn't worried-they could plaster her entire cubicle with pink slips and fill her folder to the brim with black checks-she wouldn't be there to read them. she'd wasted five years of her all too finite life, behind the desk of the xyg gallery doing what   she was  supposed to do, and she was no further ahead than when she was hired, no promotions,not even a job well done, and she had had enough- she had reached her limit, she was going to pick up the pieces of her long neglected creative life before it was too late.
 the first thing she had to do was move. she could no longer afford(in fact she never could afford) the apartment she shared with four other girls in manhattan. not that they would miss her- for every person leaving, there was always someone coming, so her space would not stay vacant for long. she was moving back to staten island, the forgotten borough, where rents were a 1/4 or  less than those in manhattan- she could probably get a house, for what she would pay for a studio apartment. she could live with her sister for awhile, until she got a part-time job and could afford to look for an apartment.

 installment 2. this will have to go into january's story because  i doubt if i'll post again before christmas, but you never know.have a wonderful holiday everyone and i'll be back with some more of the story and some pictures of my new paintings. i'm going to try over the christmas break to put together something to be published in one of the somerset magazines or other publications. i'm also going to look into starting a web site to showcase my paintings, also plan to work on my children's book. a little too ambitious for one week i know- so if i get to doing some work on each thing and do a little painting ,i'll consider myself lucky. merry christmas!!!brigid

december story

one minute she was safely ensconced in her office on 23rd street, the next thing she knew, she was out on the street with her work things crammed into a cardboard box trying to hail a cab on tenth avenue. it hadn't been much of a job, she thought ruefully , but it was a JOB , and now she was back on the street again, with the dreary prospect of posting her resume online, talking to head hunters, going to interviews, and trying to sell herself to some bored middle management drone, who would be looking at her breasts(not big enough) instead of at her face, where his/her eyes should have been. the trouble with jobs she thought was that they were jobs and not doing work that made her pulse quicken and her heart throb with joy,the way it would if she was doing what she'd been put on earth to do, to be an artist.that's when it hit her- she was 35 years old, unmarried, childless and she was going to do what she'd been wanting to do for 30 of those 35 years, she was going to become a starving artist. she put her hand down as a cab pulled up and shooed it away. starving artists didn't take cabs they took the subway, and on her way to the station she threw her cad board box which contained all her office paraphernalia, into a dumpster,and set off to begin her new life. this is the first installment of my fantasy new life- in reality i am 57 years old, married with 3 children , stuck in a job that i need to keep because my husband has been kicked out of his job. i went to a retirement consultation, and they told me i could have retired 2 years ago, so i'm hoping and even praying to a god i don't believe in, that ian will get a job and i can retire in september, and spend the rest of my life making art and writing. and what of my fictional counterpart? her name is ingrid murphy, and you'll be hearing more of her fictional adventures in the blogs to come.

it's about time

hello again. no excuses, sheer fatigue and depression.. but i'm back and i'm holding  on and plan to carry on with a new positive attitude. i've gone back to painting mostly, combining figures and abstract art, and a whole bunch of new encaustic paintings, which i'm not sure i like, but i'm giving it a shot. . i don't really know what i'm doing, i should really take a workshop, but i can't afford it. so i'm muddling through on my own.. ian has a possible new job which would take some  of the pressure off me-i've been feeling like the major breadwinner for some time now. i've also been confused about what direction my art is going in,but right now i figure i'll just show up in the studio and go with the flow. where ever it takes me. i should close with some positve affirmations folllow your bliss, let your spiritual energy soar, believe in yourself, you are enough, life is a gift  go for the gold, hold on ,live for today- you already have all that you'll ever need, hope for the best, you get the idea but  i really mean it.  but i'm really tired and i have to sleep so i can get a headstart on my brand new positvd me. good night. brigid