december with a little bit of jauary

i'm actually blogging two days in a row- wow maybe depression is good for my creative juices because i"ve been artjournalling like mad and n0w this. i'm really going to try and live as if because i don't know what else to do and christmas is 3 days away and after this i'm off for 10 days, so i have to just get into it. i haveto down load more of my work i keep forgeting to do that and i'm repeating myself. also have to take more photos too and post them in my blog and on facebook . will be putting a couple of paintings in the snug harbor open show in january. still haven't heard anything about my one woman show so it's probably not happening. oh well there's always next year. i'm thinking ahead so that's a good sign.when you're depressed you can't think beyond the next minute never mind the nextyear. i think ican ithink ican scale these scary walls, cut through these grasping tentacles,avoid the knashing teeth,the blade ready to disembowel me, and get to the other side where there is hope and pride and love and tenderness. where there is warmth and peace and companionship, instead of this dark friendless room full of spirits that want me to fail, to fall flat on my face, to feel lonely and sad and hopeless. instead i choose to enter the room full of laughter and joy and people who love me for who i am, not who iam not and will never be, who love me in spite of myself warts and all.
there is so much good in the world in i can only stay alert enough to find it
there is so much love in the world if i can let down the wslls and let it in
there is so much i can do if i only give myself the power to do it
there are so manythings i can accomplish if i give
myself perrmission to be free if i can concentrate on these things evn some of the time i just might make it out of this moraass.

still december

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hello hello is there anybody out there? if i'm talking to myself that's okay too because i want to keep a journal of my life,such as it is. still depressed, living in a twilight world. i just got off the phone with the doctor who told me it would take awhile for the new drugs, theincreased dosage to kick in and who told me to try and enjoy christmas with my family and that she would see me again next week. it occurred to me that i may be holding on to my depression as a way of avoiding my life, as a way of making my self more interesting. . but even if that's true i still feel it, and can't shake it off like a wet dog shaking off the rain.no expectations says ian and you won't be disappointed ,but i don't want to live like that i want to have great dreams and expectations,and will take the inevitable disappointments if only i can climb out of this pit and learn how to dream again good night, merry christmas and may all our dreams come true,brigidtruetrue. see ya,brigid                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

december

hi y'all sorry it's been so long but i've been battling a serious depression, that's still hanging on. i used to suffer terribly from depression but i've been pretty good for awhile-until now. if you've never been seriously depressed it's hard to explain-it's physical and mental at the same time. it's debilitating and brutal and it makes you feel helpless and hopeless,like you'll never be happy again. everything seems to lose its meaning and things that you once loved seem useless,and the people that you love seem very far away. it's something you cannot control by keeping busy, or putting on a cheerful face, telling yourself to get over it and get on with life-it's just not that simple. you're suddenly standing on a precipice looking down, or held down beneath the ocean and you can't seem to breathe, or completely lost in a forest that's closing in on you, with no clue as to which way to go to get out. john lennon said "feel so suicidal even hate my rock and roll' and that's how i feel- i even hate my art and can't get motivated to do any thing much at all. i don't know why i'm feeling this way- i'd like to blame it on my side job which is sucking the life force out of me- certainly the art force because i'm finding it hard to do art piecemeal- i can't just turn it on and off like  a light bulb- i need to do it on a more consistent basis , but i don't think it's that simple. if i'm not depressed i can manage to do art and work at my job, not as much as i would like but it's okay. i hesitated about writing this because i wanted my blog to be upbeat, but i feel so down and don't know when i'll feel better so it's either post this or nothing .hopefully by the next time i write, i'll be feeling better.to infinity and beyond,brigid.

illicit post

• hi again- i know i'm not supposed to be doing this at work but i can't resist. it's too tempting. i got over feeling sorry for myself about my lack of readership- after all i'm doing this for me,really- and people reading it and commenting on it are just gravy. the whole point is to talk about life and art and joy and laughing about how funny life is and how we make fools of our selves on a daily basis. at least i do. i just went outside for a cigarette sneak and found a whole bunch of beautiful leaves i'm going to use on a new piece soon. it's really balmy out 60 or 70 degrees- i love it! although this year i'm kind of looking forward to winter- i hope to get outside and do a few plein aire pieces when it's really cold- i'm going to snip the fingers off a pair of old gloves and maybe build a bon fire- i'm dying to do a piece of sculpture to put in the backyard. i read somewhere that your surroundings should reflect who you are so i'm going to work really hard at getting my house in shape to project that. i think it's really important in all phases of your life-how you look and dress, what your home looks like how your studio is arranged so that eventually it will all come together. this is of course on top of all the other things i have to do-making art being the most important thing after my family, but little by little i'm going to make the other changes as well. i'm really psyched about this, even if it takes me the rest of my life to do it-after all what is living for if not to make an authentic statement of who you really are and how you present yourself to the world?does that sound too shallow? shouldn'i have nobler intentions?i do i do but this is the fun part-making your life a work of art and making our art reflect who you are n'est pas?

blogger blues

girl#1

girl#2

black and white collage

black and white collage

hello hello i've got the nobody reads my blog what am i doing this for blues-i don't know if my blog is too boring or if i'm not giving anything worth reading about but i haven't had a comment on my last 3 or 4 posts. what am i doing wrong? i'm still a novice at this but it's discouraging when you don't think anyone is reading the drivel that you write whether i'm excited or not. artistically i'm still working most days evenif it means jut a page or two in my journals. i'm also really turned on by Renoir at the moment and am trying a quasi-copy ofone of his paintings. his nudes are so luscious i want to lick them, and i love that the're all full figured gals, after spending half of my life gazing at anorexically skinny models in magazines. i'm at an exciting place in my work(art work) right now because i feel as if the skies the limit- i can paint anything i want to and skip back and  forth between realism and abstraction or combine them, and also use some mixed media elements in otherwise traditional oil paintings. playing with watercolours and acrylics are fun too  mostly because they dr so fast. i use them purel for sketching and journal pages- i haven't attempted a full scale painting in either medium yet. i've also started playing around wth polymer clay- i'm g0ing to try making some jewelry with it.ian(the fabulous lve of my life) also bought me some wire working pliers and things so more jewelry may be in my future works as well.BUT THE BIG NEWS IS-i've submitted a cd of my work and an artist's statement to the Art Lab in hopes of having a one woman show@ some time in the next year or so. the'll probably reject me, but nothing ventured ,noting gained. wish me luck.is there anybody out there? i keep reading about all thesw women who say their lives channged dramatically, and they met so many people from blogging but so far that has not happened to me. so if you're out there say hello so i don't feel like i'm talking to myself. cheers,brigid.

It's Been Too Long!!!!!

hi everyone(my lone reader sniffles)-it's been way too long since i wrote but that old problem life keeps getting in the way! but here i am cheerfully attempting to bridge the gap since i last wrote say 2 weeks ago. and what has been happening ? nothing much. just the old get up in the morning @5 a.m., shuffle off to work at my fake job(we all know that my real job is being an artist and writing this blog-which is why i don't want you to think that this is unimportant to me it really, really is -i love art and i love blogging, ) it's just that i've been trying to make art and exercise and cook healthy vegan dinners and iron clothes and take care of my husband and my kids and still get to bed before 10 because if i don't i'm a zombie and sometimes blogging takes me just a little too long because i want it to be good and heartfelt and interesting(even if it isn't- i do try hard.) i started taking my print making classes again on tuesday nights and the pictures that accompany this post shows you where i'm at on that front. i'm trying to make an etching based on my oldest sister's high school graduation picture. i have a long way to go and i don't know if i'll be successful but i thought i'd give it a go.well i may not be able to show you that as i'm typing this at fj(fake job) so i'lltry and do it tonight when i get home. etching is a very time consuming process -you don't just sit down and do an etching-there, are alot of really specific steps you have to follow from transferring an image oto a plate, covering it with something called hard ground, using a sharp stylus type instrument to trace the transferred image onto the plate through the soft ground, placing the plate into a vat of acid to bite the lines into the plate, cleaning the ground off the plate with mineral spirits and acetone, inking up the plate and wiping the excess ink off the plate in a 3 step process, soaking a sheet of paper in water and then blotting it dry with blotting paper and a rolling pin , placing your plate on the press ,placing the paper on top of the plate and finally running the plate and paper through the press to get your first glimpse of your handiwork a working print called a "state", and then figuring out what you have to do next with the plate, which usually means doing the whole process over two , three or a gazillion more times til you get what you want to achieve,or as close as you can to the prize. only after you've gone through multiple states is the plate ready to pull an actual print on good paper and only after you become good and consistent enough at inking and wiping the plate,are you ready to pull an edition - multiple copies of the same plate that look pretty much identical. i haven't reached that stage yet as i am a woefully poor inker and wiper, but the whole business is really a whole lot of fun and kind of thrilling.it's a long term investment of time and patience and very messy too. love it, and love the people i've met in the class who are very supportive and helpful and good fun- and ready with feedback that is both helpful and encouraging.my instructor pat is very patient with me and to be honest has done more work on my current plate than i have.well i was only able to post one of the pictures i wanted to due to lack of time.until we meet again.

happiness

hi there- i've been trying to think of what to blog about and it  occurred to me that happiness is something that i never get tired of hearing about- that and gratitude that i have so much,and that i have so much to share about. i'm happy. not sad, not lonely, not depressed, not wishing i was someone else doing something else, but just happy to be who i am, doing what i'm doing. right now i feel as if i have everything i'll ever need, and if i had to wish for one thing it would be more time- time to spend with my family, more time for making art and exploring my creativity,reading my books ,writing and working on all of the projects i've been dying to try my hand at. don't get me wrong i wouldn't mind having a few things that would make my life easier- a bigger studio, someone to clean the house and take care of the dogs a shiny new jeep to travel around town in.but while these things would be nice,they are not essential- i am grateful to to have my little studio all to myself,grateful to be able to afford most of the supplies i need, and if i can't get them right away, i can just wait until i can afford it.i am so very grateful to the art lab for giving me a scholarship so i can afford to take another semester of printmaking(more on that later), which i'm really enjoying right now. if anything i have too much-too many ideas, too many projects i can't wait to get to, too many supplies i can't wait to use. so right now my cup is ever so full and i'm ever so happy and grateful for all that i have . my biggest problem is what i should do next!! more on all that later my thanks to the universe for making my life so full and so deeply rewarding,my thanks to you for listening,and as my daughter says peace out. lovely!!

Slowing down

Hello-i'm not sure what this post is going to be about-usually i have had some event happen in my life, or i've read or thought about something i want to share about, but today i'm not sure about what i'm going to say or what pictures i'm going to post.it's october: september seemed endless and would not go away,together with 90 degree heat-today it's chilly real fall weather and with the change in weather comes a change in me, and in my intentions: i want to slow down. all summer i seemed to be so busy, involved in art classes,e-classes, art challenges,lots of painting and drawing,lots of deadlines,lots of work.and even though i loved it while i was doing it i seem to have reached a time and place where i need to step back a little and think about what i want to do next and maybe spend some time not doing anything at all, so i can figure out what direction i want to go in and start again with gusto and conviction that this-whatever it is is the best way to use my time right now;that i'm doing what i need to do to move forward along my creative path and in my life as it is right now, as the year draws to a close. i want to sleep-i can't get enough of it, i want to curl up in my blankets and sleep for 8,9,10 hours a night. i want to read books and write in my journal with nothing more profound to say than it's such and such a day,and i did this and thought that. i want to take walks along the beach with my. husband and talk to him and listen to him talk to me, about nothing in particular-what happened at work, what we've been thinking about, sharing stories and reminiscing, laughing about life,loving each other as we put in our daily miles, making dinner together and reading or sketching alittle before i have to go to bed and sleep(yum), so i can get up at 5 to get to work every day. and at work i do just that-the work that needs to be done, with no time left over to read or do a little art or anything much that is not related to my winter job as a school nurse about as far wa from art as you can get. i did however get a scholorship to take another semester of printmaking at the art lab(thank you art lab people!!) so at least i will be doing that. and  yes i started another art journal, and have a piece in an art show at snug harbor, and am taking part though not as diligently as over the summer in two e-classes. but i don't feel as driven as i did all summer, at least for right now. so that's where i'm at and by next week it might change but for now you'll have to excuse me: it's 8:30 and it's almost time for bed.

Are women supposed to be artists?

hello all of my faithful readers-the question posed, a curious question, but unfortunately still a valid one as we rumble through the 21st century, still unsure of the "place" of women in the artworld. this question came to me at the philadelphia museum which my daughter and i visited on saturday, in search of enlightenment, a little culture, and respite from an unseasonbly warm september day.we viewed the newly gorgeously restored painting of the gross clinic by charles eakins. on the side of the exhibit was a portrait of the artist painted by the artist's wife (whose name god forgive me i didn't note down).it was a fab painting, skillfully executed with a warm and beautiful palette, and it seemed both of its time and at the same time very modern,and it was to my mind more interesting than the "masterpiece" by her husband.on the opposite wall. it just made me want to sit down and have a chat with him in front of a fireplace over tea-he looked very approachable and a little bit like an actor we'd seen around(neither of us could remember who). the most interesting thing though was the blurb about the artist, who had been a student at the pennsylvania academy of fine art, had won all kinds of prestigious awards and then bang, married eakins and put her brushes away until after his death some considerable years later. the blurb gave no reason for this decision, and made no comments about it, but it brought to mind how often this seems to happen, or seemed to happen as if, and it may not be the case at all, there's only room for one artist in the family, and that one artist,more often tan not, seems to be THE MAN. is my thinking skewed or is there really something in this , and by golly is it still happening today in the year 2010? of course one thing leads to another and we are forced to admit that if we see a painting in a museum by a woman we are still surprised(Morisot and Cassatt anyone among all those men), any painting by a woman in any context surrounded by all of those men. i am sure there are far more women represented by galleries, and acquired by both museums and art collectors,but c'mon- don't we still say "and it was by a woman", with that tone of surprise in our voices? i know i do and i consider myself both a woman, and an artist, and i hope that for my daughter's generation that surprise will be less, and that maybe someday, we'll all just be considered artists without any reference to gender(or race or sexual orientation but that's another whole ball of wax). i think there's room enough out there for all of us, and if this seems just too obvious and too done to death, i'm sorry, but this is where i'm at. what do you think? cheers, brigid.

where have i been?

hello,hello work that's where  i've been and i'm finding it hard to keep up with all my loves and responsibilities and this is one of my loves. i feel like i've been holding my breath for two weeks and i haven't yet come up for air. and to make matters worse i haven't gotten any art work done(except for one painting) in two weeks time either. but i'm very excited about my plans for the next few months-they involve alot of art, writing and believe it or not jogging-i've managed to get up to an hour's (very slow) jog nearly every day for the last week or so and i'm really thrilled. i thought my jogging days were well behind me. don't plan on doing any 12 mile runs but the old lady can still do it. i promise to write again really soon and fill you in on all my new plans and projects but i  have to go to bed NOW so i can  get up and do my morning pages and make it to work on time. thank you for your patience much love, brigid

where did the summer go?

hi y'all-sorry about the long wait for my pearls of wisdom but as the wise people say 'life happens." as i write this i have approximately 43 hours of freedom before i have to go back to work-i know how spoiled i am to have the whole summer off!my side job is really generous with the holidays, but after 24 years i am so ready to retire and spend all my time painting and writing and making all kinds of art every day. not my time yet- i'm hoping to retire in 3-4 years, so for now i have to be content with squeezing art in every chance i get- in the evenings, on weekends and school holidays. last year i managed to get alot of art journalling done-if you haven't tried it i highly recommend it-it's portable,and lends itself to a little bit here and a little bit there,you can use any sort of materials and it feels productive- getting a page done in a journal isn't the same  as doing a painting, but it's very satisfying nevertheless.,that being said i have truly had a wonderful summer, taking art classes painting outside, making a book. i've experimented with different types of art, exploring assemblage(which i love),playing with clay, working in oils,acrylics, water color, pastel, pen and ink and charcoal and graphite ,participating in the weekly color challenge and the creative thursday e-class.(thanks marisa !),the Art Lab's Summer Studio art class and Laura's (sorry laura i forgot your last name but will provide it in another post with a link to your website) class in which we made our own books and bound them as well. apart from making art i became a vegan, after years of ovolactarian vegetarianism and am feeling very healthy and committed and have been devouring books- art books,mysteries,fiction by women authors, &;magazines of every variety.it's been like a hazy glorious dream moving from art to class to reading and i am truly sorry to see it end...but onwards and upwards-fall is my absolutely favorite season and i'm signed up for a few more e-classes, hope to take something at the Art Lab, am looking forward to many long walks,apple picking, plein air painting,visiting friends in new england,encaustic painting and doing a collaborative journal with my daughter who is away at college.we plan to do a few pages each and mail it back and forth .i also hope to finally finish my first children's book and do some more work on my second, and am looking forward to improving this blog and maybe even starting a website.until next time..."time is divided into two rivers: one flows backward, devouring life already lived; the other moves forward with you .exposing your life....For a single second they may be joined.Now..." in the present moment.Pablo Neruda "Ode To The Past...adieu.

is art supposed to be onesided?

hello again- sorry it took me so long to get to this,but it always seems that there are so many things to get to-you know? as for the somewhat strange title of this page, it came from someone asking me, after i described some assemblage pieces that i made for an e-class i'm taking,if i thought that by doing so many different types of art that i was diverting myself away from what i should really be spending my time on and by that i think she meant Painting with a capital p. this idea, that painting,oil painting to be specific, is the only really serious art form,and that people who engage in it, can be the only pretenders to the throne, the only "true artists"(take that picasso with your silly pieces of pottery ! ), is to my mind,not uncommon and also to my mind  quite untrue.we must ask the question -WHAT IS ART??, and we must or i must answer that it depends on who asks the question, and  what or why they are asking it for.i looked back in history at some of my favorite artists and also at some more contemporary ones and this is what i found:
"Matisse would focus on developing these means(the practice of returning to and reworking his own art)...working synchronically on many projects, testing ideas in and across various media and finding sometimes wildly divergent ways to pursue his objectives,.....The artist restlessly experimented with various media,borrowing tools and techniques from one for use in another[ he incised into paint for example ,like wax on an etching plate, and scraped it like plaster.He worked and reworked his paintings' surfaces with a near sculptural handling and pushed himself to new levels of physical exertion as he made paintings and sculpture that were monumental in both scale and invention...he identified two canvases, 'Bathers by a River' and 'The Moroccans, as among the most pivotal of his career." from Matisse Radical Invention 1913-1917 by Stephanie D'Allessandro and John Elderfield. Yale University Press.,The Art Institute of Chicago ,2010 .
 and about Picasso "It is of course true that-in his long life Picasso produced a formidable quantity of work,morethan perhaps any artist, and his creative curiousty(LIK E THAT) was boundless.He was active  in painting,sculpture,graphic art and craft,in fact every branch of the visual arts bar architecture.And he remained tirelessly active till the end of his life." Pablo Picasso 1881-1973 edited by Ingo F/Walthur Part 2 The Works,Taschen Press 2007.
 and about de Kooning."Although not so present in his oeuvre as painting and drawing, de Kooning's collages are some of his most assured works in both abstact and figural mode."Willem de Kooning " by Harry F Gaugh Abbeville Press New York,1983. and from de Kooning himself "The first man who began to speak,whoever he was, must have intended it.For surely it is talking that has put 'Art' into painting.Nothing is positive about art except that it is a word...  That's what fascinatesme-to make something I can never be sure of, and no one else can either.I will never know,and no one else will ever know." the first part of the quote is from "What Abstact Art Means to Me" published in The Bulletin of the Museum of Modern Art,1951. the second part of the quote comes from a piece by Harold Rosenberg 'Interview with Willem de Kooning', publisher and date unknown.
 and what of contemporary artists, "in a marked departure from his earlier approach to painting Michael Haas has turned  pigments on paper into 3D figures.(He)...densely applied pastel, ink and charcoal....onto paper which he then distressed,tore, twisted and layered to form silhouettes...as much sculpted as painted, these 30 recent artworks boldly claimed their space". by Mary Krienke Artnews Summer 2009.
and in another more recent exhibit, "This selection of 36 paintings,drawings, collages and reliefs dated from 1965-2007, provide an excellent overview of the work of 70 year otl Pierre Buraglio." His works range from mixed media paintings to collages,assemblage/sculptures that "All demonstrate the artist's relentless need to keep his practice fresh." from a review by Michael Duncan Art in America, May 2010.

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 so what have i accomplished in this long rambling blog entry. to ask some questions and answer others,always,always from my point of view at any particular point in time .i like de Kooning's definition of art-that it is a word.i like Picasso's creative curiousty, Matisse's explorations, our more contemporary experimentation.i believe that each artist's journey is a personal one, and for me all my exporations and experimentations and creative curiousties have strengthed rather than weakened my work. i look with real excitement and wonder towards what i will do next and what else i will experience on my journey and hope that i remain like Picasso tirelessly active till the ver end of my life.What do you think ? i'd love to know.

end of art camp, is summer far behind?

hi all-tomorrow is the last day of my art class at the art lab. traditionally each session ends with a critique of what everyone's been doing all summer. someone from outside the program looks at everyone's work and discusses it ,offering advice, praise, suggestions etc. it's fun and a little nerve wracking but for the most part the reviewers are kind and positive, and manage to find something good to say about everone's work. so i am tired, having attempted to complete four or five paintings that get started in class but never finished. most of my work is unfinished but i'm going to show it anyway, because that's what we do in art camp. i'm sorry that it's ending, but i'm a little relieved too-now i can relax a little in the last few weeks of summer before school starts again. i can't believe how quicly this summer is going! even tho i still have 3 weeks off i feel as if it's over. and i am having too good a time to go back to work.i promise to write more when this class is behind me. many thanks to mary c. who had us all down to her little mansion in seagirt for a wonderful day. i love getting together with this group of girls-we have such a good time.be for now,brigid

Goya, El Greco,Velazquez,Matisse and my new toy

greetings! i can't believe how fast time is going-i honestly mean to post a few times a week but it seems that once is what i'm doing. i promise to try harder- i know everyone is hanging onto every word! tee-hee. first my new toy-metal rubbings from ten second studio. i hope you can see it in the photo-i purchased several molds and some incredible tools and voila -metal rubbings for my journals, blog etc.so many possibilities!
the other thing i wanted to write about today is a field trip i took with my art lab class into Manhattan to two very different museums. our first stop was at  the Hispanic society of America on Broadway between 155th &156th streets which is a jewel of a museum founded in 1904 by archer Milton Huntington, an American scholar and philanthropist, which contains " the most extensive collection of Hispanic art outside of Spain and Latin America"(from the society's brochure). in addition to paintings and sculpture from such artists as Goya,ElGreco and Velazquez among others, there is an extensive selection of"decorative art" such as ceramics,glassware, furniture, ironwork, textiles and jewelry; and a library which contains more than 600,000  books and other documents  from the 10th century to the present.the museum also has a vast collection of prints and photographs, and is a very cool and beautiful set of buildings, separated by an enormous courtyard full of incredible sculptures. i'd like to show you some examples of the fab paintings and other treasures, but i don't know about what the copy write rules are about things like that. while we were there we were treated to the viewing of a restoration  in progress of one of Velazquez paintings, and the restorer(sorry i don't know the correct title of a painting restorer) showed us how she works and just what she does to restore a painting- an in credibly intricate operation that went right over my head. it was absolutely awe inspiring.
 after our time at the Hispanic society was finished we headed downtown to the museum of modern art(Moma) to see a show about Matisse  called "radical invention 1913-1917" a show which explored what the catalogue of the show calls"one of the artist's most significant periods of production....unlike any other in his career". the exhibition contains over 125 paintings, sculptures, drawings and prints  which according  to the beautiful catalogue  which describes the show is subtitled the "methods of modern construction  " in which Matisse  searched for a new way of working which involved among other things reworked paint layers,scraping and incising.i don't do the show justice-in fact i have not yet had time to digest it. go and see the show if you can, read the catalogue. they are both heartbreakingly beautiful.enough...until we meet again, brigid.                                                    

a day to be thankful

hello-this is going to be a short post-i just wanted to write about how grateful i am to be me, to have the family and friends that i have, for having the opportunity to work on my art everyday, for having the means to buy all the art supplies i need, for having a supportive and selfless husband who allows me the luxury to make art, to take classes and buy supplies and who gives me the time i need everyday to work on all my projects, who supports and encourages me on every step along the way,who bolsters my ego when my spirit is down in the dumps, who patiently looks at all my work and offers praise, advice and suggestions on how i can make it better, who believes in me when i don't believe in myself who makes me laugh and teaches me how to not take myself so seriously. i am thankful to to my children who love me even if i don't cook dinner every night, who love me as i am and not how i sometimes wish i could be- a more conventional mother who keeps the house spotlessly clean, who cooks bakes and sews and all the other things i think a mother is supposed to do, and to the friends and family who love me, who get me who appreciate my art sometimes more than i do and encourage me to continue to do what i love to do  each and every day. so thank you all of you, all 6 people who read this blog and give me so much along the way...with love,brigid

trip to the seashore

hello-i can't believe it's been nearly a week since i last posted-this summer is going frighteningly quickly,and i'm enjoying every minute.this week my daughter and i took a girl's day at the beach.we drove to point pleasant, new jersey where we flopped on the beach, frolicked in the surf, ate french fries(the best french fries in the world are for sale on the pt. pleasant boardwalk),played skee ball, took photobooth pictures, ate kohr's frozen custard ,and bought postcards and mailed them to each other from n.j. on the way home we stopped at ocean grove, an incredibly picturesque little town not far from p.p.(see photos)we took lots of pictures and i bought some amazing leather bracelets and a pair of super cool flip flops that have snaps on them so you can change the look just by snapping on a new button (sold separately).these ingenuous flips are put out by lindsay-phillips.com, and were sold in "The Emporium" a fantastic shop in ocean grove full of all kinds of beautiful goodies(i bought the leather bracelets there too-unfortunately i didn't get the name of the bracelet maker/ designer but the store is online @www.EMPORIUM-OG.COM, and i'm sure they would be happy to tell you.) i can't wait to go back and do some more shopping ! any way we had a fabulous time and i can't wait to go back to the seashore. next time i'm going to bring some paints along with my camera, because the light at the shore is so beautiful and different from new york.my dream for when i'm rich and famous is to have an apartment(read loft) in Manhattan and a house at the jersey shore-of course i'll keep my house on staten island too because i love it. when i was a little girl i used to walk past the house i live in now(i grew up around the corner), and say to myself, "i'm going to live in that house when i grow up" and sure enough i did.any way more tomorrow about all the fabulous stuff i bought today at michael"s. i'm not a shopaholic no matter what my husband tells you....until we meet again, brigid.

believe in yourself

hi there- this post is about believing in yourself and i got it from a page i created in one of my journals-hence the picture.the next page says "and others will too", but i couldn't scan it because the text was too dark and didn't show up well.it's all that we have really-this believing in ourselves -it's the first step we take on this journey of self discovery, the thing that makes us paint and draw and write and allows us to let others see it, and its scary and also exhilarating to say to the world,well here i am and this is what i do and i hope you like it, but i'm going to do it anyway whether you like it or not, because i have to.and that's what any artist will tell you-there's no real choice involved in this .we do it because we have to and to not do it becomes like a physical pain,certainly a mental anguish that makes life very uncomfortable, if not downright unbearable,at least for me-how about you? i'd love to hear from you about the need, the drive to create that motivates you to work on and on and on, even when the work isn't selling and/or nobody seems to get it (or you) but you wouldn't dream of giving up,even if it means nobody ever hears of you, or you never get published or shown. so you go on believing in yourself, day after day step after step because to do otherwise is unthinkable...hey i'll tell you what-if you believe in yourself, i'll believe in you too, and if you want to believe in me that would be nice but it won't stop or start me because i already believe in myself.so let's raise our glasses to ourselves and get on with the work we really need to do. until next time...

real artists

hello-am righteously tired-ispent the day at art camp(as my husband has dubbed the art program I'm attending at the art lab), trying to capture the thinnest man in the world on paper-honestly i prefer my models to have lots of flesh oozing everywhere and this model through no fault of his own is as thin as a fashion model- very difficult to draw.after lunch we had a lecture on Cezanne and the meaning of the picture plane and various other topics. at one point the lecturer made a comment on "creative types" who draw and press flowers and pour glitter on them, akind of disparaging comment on crafters,who i gather are not considered "real artists" by those in the know.really.aren't we all a little too sophisticated,educated grown up,and just a little bit tired of this kind of snobbery ? i've seen more beautiful art in the pages of magazines such as"cloth.paper.scissors",and " Somerset Studio" and tt's sister publication" Art journaling", than i've seen in serious art magazines like "artNews", and "Art in America" or "art forum",or even in the art galleries and art museums of new york city. not all of it of course,on either side of the fence. there is alot of "kitsch" every where both in and out of magazines and galleries and yes even museums.but the point of art and of artists is surely the act of creation of making something that the maker of that"art" considers beautiful or meaningful, while taking into consideration all the "art" that has been made by "artists" since the beginning of time, whether it be sprinkling glitter on dried flowers or making monumental sculptures or painting the Sistine chapel .it seems to me to be all part of the same honest effort, the desire to transcend the ordinary mind numbing terrifying grind of everyday life, a toast to the human spirit that carries on and attempts to make something out of this life.

finally friday

hi there-what a week! i started the week off with a new class that i already mentioned-collage and bookmaking,tuesday off to paint and scan some drawings into the computer, and on wednesday i started my summer program at the Art Lab which consists of three days of drawing from the model for 3 hours, and then painting for two hours on thursday and friday. on wednesday we had 3 hrs. of drawing from the model with an art history lesson thrown in in the afternoon.exhausting. i made a valiant effot but my drawings and paintings did not go as well as they might have-and it's tough to get back into the groove for the fifst week or so, and by the time i really get into it the six weeks are up and the program is over. i always doubt that i'll do it again but by the time summer rolls around i,m champing at the bit to do it again... a few lines from Rimbaud "I am unknown:so what? Poets are brothers. These verses believe,they love, they hope:that's enough"

studio visit

hi there- i'm so new at this i just signed myself up as a new follower on my own blog! i just wanted to send a thank you to my real new followers courtney and seanora and somehow i signed myself up as one too,and i don't know how i did it or how to erase it... i spent most of the day trying to unclutter my studio which consists of a small room approx. 8 by 12 ft., packed to the gills with paintings, books, art supplies of every variety,magazines sewing supplies,manuscipts,and alot of unfinished work-you get the idea- i took some photos of the mess after i gave it up for the day which i hope i will be able to show you-here goes: well i guess not-maybe later.for some reason this post is annoyed with me and won't publish my images . i hit the publish images too many times i guess so this will have to be an image free post-sorry! after attempting to clean my studio i went to a new class given at snug harbor called"collage and bookmaking" taught by laura delprete and it was lots of fun and seems promising. i tried to take this class in the spring but it was cancelled since i was the only person who signed up -laura knows lots of stuff that i don't know yet and had lots of great coll aging stuff. i'll give you her link if she says its ok and if i can figure out how to do it. i hope i'm going to howl at these early blogs when i get more accomplished. right now my ears are burning with embarrassment at how inept i am... i have to confess if you haven't guessed already that i am not exactly computer savvy so please forgive("nudge,nudge,know what i mean") but i am struggling on nevertheless. maybe my incompetence will give someone else the courage to publish a not so polished blog. that said i'll try not to mention it again and end with a quote from my favorite poet pablo neruda "....from tomorrow's ash we will be born."

JULY!!!!!

"hello again, here's my best to you-are your skies all gray-ihope they're blue" old song that i've known forever so i don't know who to credit it to,sorry! july is my favorite month(actually october is but more of that later) because it means i am on vacation from my side job and this is a very big deal because it means i can stay up really late and putter around in my studio all day and night, begin my summer art class and just revel in being free. i work for the nyc school system as a registered nurse and they only started giving us the summers off about 4 years ago, so this still feels like manna from heaven. i've already done two collage paintings on paper, finished one painting on canvas and started another, am zooming through kelly rae roberts e-class ,http://www.kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com,ordered/ business cards,and started this blog. not bad for a week or two.this is all intersperced with eating large quantities of ice cream, slurping down countless cups of iced coffee, and reading about 6 books at the same time. i would like to add that my house is spotless but that would be a lie. i struggle with this one all the time-art or housework, art or housework and art wins every time.i mean i don't actually live in a pig sty but the oinkers are lining up to use the bathroom. my goal for today is to get organized and start planning how i'm going to get every thing i want to get done done , visit some blog sites of other artists , and work on my painting. so here's the quote of the day from my absolutely favorite famous person and tibetan nun Pema Chodron fom a book called Start Where You Are -Shambala Publications(by the way i highly recommend this and all other books by Pema- so full of joyous insight and instructions on how to live in the now)" We already have everything we need.There is no need for self improvement. All those trips that we lay on ourselves-the heavy-duty feeling that we're bad and hoping that we're good,the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds-never touch our basic wealth. they are like clouds that temporarily block the sun. But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here. This is who we really are. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake." i'm sorry that was so long but you needed the whole quote to get what she is saying. we're ok just as we are,really.now i'm going to attempt to post the painting i put on my new business cards. cross your fingers.ever yours....

thank you

hi again-i published my concerns about being unable to access my blog online with my fellow members of the creative flight facebook page and i got back feedback from the"Creative Flight" facebook page almost immediately! You guys are great. for those of you who don't know Creative Flight refers to an e-class i'm currently taking with the inimitable kelly rae roberts-www.KellyRaeRoberts.blogspot.com, and i'm learning tons of stuff and beginning to make contact with some new people via the facebook page. i apologize for the paucity of this site right now but it's early days and i have alot to learn! i just began a 10 week hiatus from my side job as a nurse for the nyc dept. of education and boy does it feel good. now i can concentrate on my real jobs making art and writing. i'm going to attempt to insert a few pictures now-wish me luck..

#2

hi there , i'm feeling not quite as panicked as i did yesterday. i think it will all come to me eventually, if i have patience and hang in there.it's not easy when you're not too computer savvy and trying to play catch up with others who are light years away. but someday mommy if i'm a very good little girl...today at my job a filing cabinet fell on my leg and no one asked me if i was all right and they didn't want to even accept the accident report from me-i'm a caregiver a sympathizer even to people who are total strangers to me so this lack of affording me the most minimalexpression of concern upset me more than the injury did.i mmean if we're not here to take care of each other who is? i spend the entire day tending to the hurts and wounds of others and not one person called to ask me if iwas all right. we have to care about each other. we have to say are you all right and mean it, and ask if there's anything we can do. we have to try and ease the pain of broken limbs and broken hearts and vulnerable egos and hurt feelings and everything in between,everywhere ,all the time for as long as we can stand it. there's so much hurt out thre in the world without our adding to it-in fact we have to try to take away as much as we can-how areyou are you feeling all right?

help!!

Help! This is my first post ever and I have no idea what I"m doing,so please,please bear with me!I have no idea how to make a blog or what to say.I don't know how to put pictures on here. I don't know my way around a computer,and my18 year old daughter who knows about all these things is taking a nap.It's 90+ degrees in nyc as i write and from my window I can see the tops of some kind of trees or other billowing in the breeze. I know a little bit about alot of things.I know next to nothing about others.Have you ever read a blog as boring as this one.I love painting big bright abstact paintings. i'm currently working on a series of collaged portraits of women, hoping to get into encaustic painting, will spend the summer drawing and painting at the art lab at snug harbor-staten islands answer to the botanical gardens(pick your borough), the art student's league, with some glorious romanesque at least that's what i call them-buildings thrown in for good measure-more about the magnificent snug harbor in another post if i ever get through this one.i'm currently enrolled in kelly rae robert's e-class. iregistered late so i'm really behind. but it was suggested in the course that a blog was in order. someday i'll know how to post pictures of my work but right now i don't know how- so if anyone reads this and can help me i will be ever so grateful and i'll talk about finding your soul and all kinds of other cool things if i ever find out how to do this .hopefully yours, brigid agnes claire gallagher davies(not the archbishop of new york.)